One of the first objections I hear to the idea of a CoCreate Date is:
“But I’m not creative.”
This usually means creativity has been defined too narrowly.
You may be imagining creativity as painting a picture, writing a novel, composing music, or inventing something nobody has ever seen before.
Those things are creative. But they are only a small part of creativity.
If you prepare a meal while your partner works on a sculpture, you have created something another person can enjoy today. If someone writes a play, you might help produce it, design the poster, build the website, sell tickets, arrange the venue, or tell people why they should see it.
You do not have to be the person holding the paintbrush to participate in creation.
Creativity Is Often Practical
Creation includes making something new, but it also includes improving, organizing, solving, adapting, and combining.
You might:
- plan a trip;
- redesign a room;
- repair a bicycle;
- plant a garden;
- develop a better filing system;
- create a budget;
- learn to cook a new dish;
- organize a neighborhood event;
- build a website;
- make a family photo album;
- figure out a better way to do something that annoys you.
The result does not have to hang in a museum.
A meal disappears. A garden changes. A party ends. A repaired chair eventually breaks again.
That does not make them less creative.
You Can Help Create Without Being the Originator
Most worthwhile things are created by more than one kind of person.
Someone has the original idea. Someone asks the question that improves it. Someone notices what is missing. Someone organizes the work. Someone tests it. Someone explains it. Someone introduces it to the right person. Someone encourages the originator when the whole thing seems hopeless. Someone brings dinner.
These are not consolation prizes for people who lack creativity. They are often the difference between an idea that remains an idea and something that actually exists.
You may not want to write a musical. You might be the kind of person a musical can be written about.
Curiosity May Matter More Than Talent
You do not have to arrive at a CoCreate Date already knowing what you are good at.
“Show me how you do that” is a perfectly good beginning.
Someone else’s enthusiasm may expose you to something you never would have tried on your own. You may discover that you like photography, woodworking, gardening, songwriting, game design, genealogy, cooking, coding, or something you do not yet know exists.
Passion often follows participation.
You do not always have to discover your passion first and then go looking for a place to use it.
Sometimes you begin by helping someone else with theirs.
Being Interested in Someone Else’s Work Is Attractive
There is also a relationship point here.
Imagine telling someone about something that matters deeply to you.
One person nods politely and waits for the conversation to return to them.
Another asks:
“How does that work?”
“What are you trying to accomplish?”
“Can I see it?”
“What part is giving you trouble?”
“Could I help?”
Which person would you rather spend time with?
Genuine curiosity is attractive. So is encouragement. So is being the person who notices another human being becoming animated when they talk about something they care about—and wants to know more.
You may not share their particular passion. You do not have to. Sometimes supporting someone else’s creativity is itself one of the most meaningful things you can create together.
You Don’t Have to Work on the Same Thing
A CoCreate Date does not require a joint project.
You can sit next to someone writing while you draw. They can practice guitar while you work on a presentation. You can cook while they edit photographs. One person can study while the other builds a model airplane.
You might occasionally exchange ideas. Or you might barely speak for twenty minutes because both of you are absorbed. That can be intimacy too.
The point is not necessarily: “What can we make together?”
It can also be: “What happens when we make things near each other?”
You Don’t Have to Be Good at It
Traditional dating can already feel like an audition. CoCreate Dating should not turn creativity into another audition. You do not need to impress anyone. In fact, doing something you are not very good at may tell you more about one another.
What happens when the cake collapses? When the paint looks terrible? When the software refuses to work? When one person knows more than the other?
Can you laugh? Can you ask for help? Can you teach without becoming condescending? Can you be a beginner without becoming embarrassed?
Those moments may reveal more than polished competence ever could.
Support Can Be Generative
Sometimes the most creative thing you contribute is not an object at all.
You ask the question that changes the project. You introduce two people who should know each other. You provide an audience. You point out what is already good. You make someone feel that their idea is worth another hour of effort.
That can be a profound contribution.
Creation is not always about having the idea. Sometimes it is about helping an idea survive.
So, What If You’re Not Creative?
Perhaps you aren’t.
At least not in the way you have been taught to use the word. That’s fine.
You do not have to be a creative person to go on a CoCreate Date. You only need to be willing to participate in bringing something into being—or to help someone else do so.
Bring your curiosity. Bring your attention. Bring a skill. Bring a problem. Bring something you want to learn. Bring something you need to get done.
Or simply bring genuine interest in what matters to another person.
You may discover that creativity was never a trait you either possessed or lacked. It was something you could do with someone else.
